Off the Bust: Last-Minute Halloween Costumes (Or, How a Girl Can Be Ron Swanson)

I am a connoisseur of last-minute Halloween costumes, though I think I've only honed the talent because I wait until the last minute to decide if I'm going to dress up. This photo is from two years ago, when my sister requested I go as Ron Swanson instead of the fairy princess we'd planned. She made this request at 3:50 p.m. Trick-or-treating started at 5. 

How does a girl with long, luscious locks transform herself into TV's most manly libertarian? The recipe is as follows:

Step 1: Assemble one of Ron's most basic ensembles--slacks, sweater, collared shirt (all of which I found in a pile of my grandpa's old clothes at my grandma's house).

Step 2: Add under shirt for warmth (necessary 25 out of 26 Illinois Halloweens).

Step 3: Find some masculine shoes. (This pair, which are my mom's, seemed boring enough... and I thought Ron would prefer brown over black.)

Step 4: Attempt to replicate Ron's "high and tight" hairstyle. For me, it took 23 bobby pins and about half a can of hair spray.

Step 5: In the absence of suitable materials to make a mustache, cut one out of an old t-shirt and Scotch tape it onto your face.

Step 6: Perfect slight scowl.
Step 7: Consult the Swanson Pyramid of Greatness for other pointers on getting into proper character: 

My Swanson achieved moderate success--no one knew who I was, but I was mistaken for a dad two or three times. So score! 

Happy Halloween, y'all!